Leashes

I remember my first grade teacher--she was terse, impatient, and unforgiving. I forgot to give a note to my parents she had given me a week prior. The week following she scurried into my art class, grabbed me by my ear, pulled me and my ear out of class, where she berated me for forgetting to give the note to my parents. I know I was only seven at the time, but I knew this lady was in serious need of a hug. For whatever reason, this seemingly small event rises to the surface every now and then and with it some anxiety. I'm in the process of writing a book, Headwinds, where I delve into how to get beyond such events in life, our Leashes. I think we all harbor some ill will about a circumstance, event, time period, person, family, or friends that has yet to be resolved. In fact, I know it, because I have so-called loose ends! These little things, sometimes big, tend to snowball into regrets and, for some of us, frustration, especially as our mid-life crisis appears. In writing the book, I have found that these Leashes tend to hold us back from being our true selves, forever tying us to the past, defeating our goals and objectives. I don't think my first-grade teacher knew that she probably had her own Leashes, some that hijacked her reasoning, rationality, and self control. Looking back on this event now, I can guarantee that she probably looked back at that event numerous times over and thought, "Why did I do that?!" Sometimes in life, our emotions and feelings hijack all sense of rationality. As a police officer, I remember arresting a younger guy for failing to sign a citation. After explaining that not signing the citation may result in further legal action (AKA me arresting you), he continued to refuse. He didn't have a criminal history, his driver's license history was clear, and he seemed intelligent and coherent. So, why did he risk going to jail for something that seemed so trivial? We often let our emotions guide our behavior, and it seemed to be the case here. This example is just one of probably hundreds where people acted what, to them, would be considered unusual, even impossible. Our emotions can act as a Leash. In times where emotions run high, it becomes even more important to step back, rethink our approach, and analyze our strategy, especially in more professional environments. And, when we better understand the behavior people exhibit, we can better calibrate our communication.